every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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