Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
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Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
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HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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