Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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