i don't like sucking hair
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize