Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He kissed a someone with a penis
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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