I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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