I wish I could punch you in the face.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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