There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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