dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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