I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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