Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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