My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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