happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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