i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
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Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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