If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize