Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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