i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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