I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize