I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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