Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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