Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
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I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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