I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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