you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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