i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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