i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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