At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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