I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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