Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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