WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize