so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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