I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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