Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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