absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize