If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize