Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize