New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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