Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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