She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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