Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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