I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize