Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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