So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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