neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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