I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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