I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize