I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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