I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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