what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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