she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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