My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize